From VanNat

Do you believe in spiritual signs?

I do.

Over the years, there have been a handful of times when I have asked God for a sign. Not for every little decision, but for the moments that truly mattered. The moments that filled me with fear, uncertainty, and questions I couldn’t answer on my own.

One of those moments happened when I was having ongoing stomach issues. My doctor ordered both a pelvic ultrasound and a stomach ultrasound.

During the appointment, I noticed the nurse seemed concerned. Instead of sending me home, she asked me to wait in the lobby.

As I sat there waiting, I could feel my anxiety growing.

Shortly afterward, my doctor called me. She told me she wanted me to come back for a PET scan, and it could be done that same day.

Everything seemed so urgent.

No one had said the word cancer, but deep down I knew something wasn’t right.

A couple of hours later, I got back in my car and headed to the diagnostic testing center for the PET scan.

As I drove, fear began creeping into my mind.

I was scared.

I didn’t know what was happening, and I didn’t know what the tests would reveal.

So I did what I often do when life feels bigger than me.

I prayed.

Not a casual prayer.

Not a quick prayer.

I prayed with all my heart.

I asked God for a sign.

I said, “Lord, if this is not cancer, please let me see a blue bird.”

As I drove, there it was.

A beautiful blue bird sitting right in the middle of the road.

I can’t fully explain what I felt in that moment.

Peace.

Comfort.

Hope.

I smiled and continued on to my appointment feeling reassured by what I had seen.

After the PET scan, I drove home.

Just a couple of hours later, my phone rang.

It was my doctor.

The speed of everything felt unreal.

She told me, “You have ovarian cancer.”

The words hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t remember much of the conversation after that. I vaguely remember hearing that I had an appointment with an oncologist in two days, but everything else became a blur.

Everything had happened in a single day.

The tests.

The phone calls.

The PET scan.

The diagnosis.

It all happened so quickly that I could barely process it.

I remember thinking that I must be dreaming.

Nothing felt real.

It was as if I were watching someone else’s life unfold instead of my own.

How could I wake up that morning expecting a routine day and end it being told I had ovarian cancer?

I sat on my couch trying to process what I had just been told.

Cancer.

How could this be happening?

I was confused, scared, and overwhelmed.

But more than anything, I was terrified for my son.

He was still young, and he had always been so attached to me.

My mind immediately went to him.

What would happen to him if the diagnosis was right?

Who would be there for him?

Who would guide him through life’s challenges?

Who would remind him every day how much he was loved?

The fear of leaving him was overwhelming.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Then suddenly, I remembered the blue bird.

The sign I had asked God for.

And I found myself saying out loud, “I don’t have cancer. God told me it’s not cancer.”

As crazy as that may sound to some people, I believed it with my whole heart.

That doesn’t mean the fear disappeared.

The fear was still there.

I was still scared.

I was still worried.

I was still a mother who had just been told something terrifying.

But alongside that fear was something else.

Hope.

A quiet sense of peace that I could not explain.

Even after hearing the diagnosis, a part of me kept remembering that blue bird. A part of me kept believing that somehow everything was going to be okay.

The fear was real.

But so was my faith.

And it turned out to be true.

I had been misdiagnosed.

What the doctors found was a 15-pound mass, but it was not cancer.

The blue jay didn’t mean that nothing was wrong.

There was something wrong.

The mass had to be surgically removed. It was not an easy surgery, and it was not an easy recovery.

I still had to walk through that storm.

There were moments of fear, uncertainty, and pain.

But the sign had never promised me that life would be free from challenges. It simply reassured me that the diagnosis I feared most was not my reality.

Looking back, I realize that sometimes God’s answers are not what we expect.

He didn’t remove the obstacle.

He walked beside me through it.

The surgery was difficult, but I survived.

Since then, there have been other moments in my life when I’ve asked God for guidance and reassurance. Time after time, I have found comfort in the signs He has placed in my path.

For me, blue jays have become a symbol of hope.

Every time I see one, I feel a sense of peace. It’s a reminder that I have survived difficult days before. It’s a reminder that fear doesn’t always tell the truth. It’s a reminder that I am not alone.

Some people may call it coincidence.

Some may call it faith.

Some may call it a spiritual sign.

I simply call it one of the many ways God reminds me that everything will be okay.

There have been other signs throughout my life, but this is the one I carry closest to my heart.

And every time a blue jay crosses my path, I smile and remember that beautiful promise.

Keep going.

Keep believing.

Everything will be okay.