There are some experiences that time doesn’t seem to touch.
Today, a conversation brought up something that happened 33 years ago. We talked about what happened, who was there, who it affected, and the aftermath.
As I told the story, it didn’t feel like something that happened 33 years ago. It felt like it had just happened.
I could feel the fear and anguish again. I remembered how my life spiraled afterward and how much that experience changed me.
Some memories don’t understand time.
When someone invades your privacy and terrorizes you in a place where you are supposed to feel safe, they take more than your privacy. They change the way you feel in your own space.
Your sacred places may never feel quite the same.
You listen differently. You notice sounds. You become more aware of your surroundings. A place that once represented comfort can suddenly remind you of fear.
People often focus on what happened, but they don’t always see what comes afterward. One experience can affect decisions, relationships, and the direction your life takes long after the actual event is over.
Looking back, I can see how much it affected mine.
I never went to therapy. I never asked for help. I really didn’t talk about it. I just continued with my life and thought I could handle it on my own.
Today made me wonder if keeping it inside is part of the reason the memory remains so vivid after all these years.
If you ever experience something that leaves you feeling this way, please talk to someone. Seek therapy if you can, or confide in someone you trust. Don’t assume that because the event is over, the emotional impact is over too.
I wish I had done that.
Thirty-three years later, I have lived a lot of life. I have grown, created new memories, and moved forward.
But today reminded me that moving forward and forgetting are not the same thing.
What happened became part of my story, but it did not become my entire story.
And my story continues.
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